Healthy Relationships: A Guide to Building Secure Bonds

RELATIONSHIPS

7/3/20232 min read

woman on bike reaching for man's hand behind her also on bike
woman on bike reaching for man's hand behind her also on bike

Healthy relationships are essential for our emotional well-being. They provide us with love, support, and a sense of belonging. They also help us to feel safe and secure.

Susan Johnson, a clinical psychologist and researcher, has developed a model of healthy relationships called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is based on the attachment theory, which states that our early relationships with our caregivers shape our adult relationships.

The EFT Model of Healthy Relationships

According to EFT, healthy relationships are characterized by three key factors:

  • Secure attachment: Partners in a secure relationship feel safe and connected to each other. They feel understood and accepted, and they can rely on each other for support.

  • Emotional engagement: Partners in a healthy relationship are able to express their emotions to each other in a clear and direct way. They are also able to listen to and understand their partner's emotions.

  • Responsiveness: Partners in a healthy relationship are responsive to each other's needs. They are able to meet each other's emotional needs, and they are able to compromise when necessary.

Building Healthy Relationships

Building healthy relationships takes time, effort, and commitment. However, the rewards are worth it. When we have healthy relationships, we are more likely to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

Here are some tips for building healthy relationships:

  • Be aware of your attachment style. Our attachment style is shaped by our early relationships with our caregivers. If we had secure attachments, we are more likely to be able to form secure attachments in our adult relationships. However, if we had insecure attachments, we may need to work on healing our attachment wounds in order to build healthy relationships.

  • Communicate openly and honestly. Communication is essential for any healthy relationship. Be sure to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner in a clear and direct way.

  • Be responsive to your partner's needs. Pay attention to your partner's emotional needs, and be sure to meet them whenever possible.

  • Resolve conflict in a healthy way. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. However, it is important to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Avoid blaming or criticizing your partner, and focus on finding solutions that work for both of you.

  • Spend quality time together. Make time for each other, even when you are busy. Go on dates, talk about your day, and do things that you enjoy together.

Building healthy relationships is an ongoing process. There will be ups and downs, but if you keep working at it, you will gradually build a strong and secure bond with your partner.